Good Things About Being an Angel

Let's play the positivity game and list a couple of ways the vest has benefited me! 

• Bartenders and wait staff fall over themselves to help you.
• At High Tea the other day we waited for 15 minutes for a fresh batch of sandwiches. I stuck my hand up, and the waitress was right there.

• Strangers become very helpful
• A woman saw I was trying to blindly put my phone in my bag and kindly and unexpectedly lifted my bag for me, to my total confusion because I couldn't see what was happening.

• Weight loss
• The vest is a rigid shell fitting right over my stomach. There is a hard limit to how much I can fit in my belly at any one time. That, together with increased energy requirements, means that I have lost 5kg! Yippee! 
• (I hope that's not all muscle.)

• You don't have your head falling down awkwardly when you fall asleep watching TV.

• You never have to be designated driver. 
• You can drink your wine with a straw.
• Rock-hard abs.

So many wins! Looks like I might have to keep the vest around after it comes off.

The Aluminum Monster

I normally wear a shirt under the brace, and a loose one over the brace, so not many people in public have seen the full kit. Today I happened to be wearing my dress underneath, so here's what that looks like.

This is the height of fashion for me right now!

So, your friend has a neck/back injury...

On a forum that I frequent, someone recently asked what they could do for their friend who was laid up with a back injury. It's not often that I consider myself an expert on something. Normally, when I am interested in a topic, I know just enough to know how much I don't know and so usually I couch my information-sharing with all sorts of qualifiers, and so nobody considers me an authority on anything.

I mean, I did/do research in Obesity and Type 2 diabetes for five years, but let's all listen to my friend who read an article last week about coconut water on news.com.au. :)

The Dunning-Kruger Effect. Or, "Unskilled but Unaware of It"

Anyway, I feel like I am now an expert in what it is like to live with a halo brace! So I shall share with you my advice to this generous person who asked what they could do for their injured friend.

So, how's the weather (antenna on top of your head)?

I am starting to have a gutful of the halo. It seems to be all I talk about anymore. I do like having an easy conversation starter, and I appreciate that people ask because they care and are genuinely interested. But I have said the same thing about sleeping approximately 98 times ("Yeah, I sleep fine, on my side usually, and with something next to my cheek so it doesn't feel like my head's hovering in air"). And I have said the same thing about showering about 49 times ("I hose down my bottom half and rub the top half with a flannel. Can't wait for a shower!"). And I have said why I have the halo probably about 20 times ("I fell off a waterslide on to my head.")

I should come up with some more amusing answers before I go to tomorrow's birthday party with lots of interested, well-meaning people. For my amusement.

--

I left something behind in my halo clinic today. The nurse came running after me to return it. I said to her, "Thanks, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."

Far out, I'm funny.

--

Speaking of funny, had the best encounter in the shopping centre the other day. Waiting in line at JB HiFi to purchase a Chromecast (It's great!). An elderly man made a bee-line right for me and stood nose-to-nose staring at me, eyes agog. "Are you real?" He gaped.
"Yes, I'm real. I broke my neck."
He turned to his carer/companion. "Is she real? She says she's real."

Bless his lil old soul. :)

Halo clinic - Week Five

Week five has been conquered! It was a good week. I caught up with my mates for the $15 steak at The Odin and we brainstormed how I could gussy my halo up for my friend Neil's wedding in February. Other topics: Dominating the photobooth. Tearing up the dancefloor with The Robot. Charging through the crowd for the bouquet. The usual.

All of these plans come to naught because after today's halo clinic, I have a finish date, and it is six weeks away, and is the day before the wedding!

Not exactly halfway through yet, but this was too good to wait a week.

But I know-- I have only been in the halo for five weeks! And 12 weeks is the recommended period of time! To which I say: Keep your doubts to yourself, haters! I'm blowing this thing! And then I'm having a shower!

That may have been the highlight of the clinic, but plenty of things happened today!

Alright, Stop! Shower Time.

One good thing about having been on a months-long camping trip prior to breaking my neck, is that I had already come to terms with an intermittent shower schedule. Compared to some of the roughest, hottest, filthiest terrain that Australia has to offer, the amount of filth I develop sitting around the house is negligible.

Still, I wish to retain a 'social life' and 'basic human standards', so foregoing showers completely isn't an option. After four weeks, I think I've found my groove.

Under the jump is my routine. I don't talk about anything funky, but you probably only need to read it if you have a halo brace and are trying to do things independently because you are hardcore and don't need to lean on anybody.

This is probably going to be my first move after the halo comes off.

FAQ

Another week down! It has been a very busy week.

Outings

I went on my first outing today after getting the halo. I needed to get some cash out, and purchase a few things from Officeworks. It was my first exposure to the outside world, and the outside world's first exposure to me!

I was intimidated when I realised I was walking into Joondalup Shopping Centre during one of the busiest periods of the year. With my extremely short haircut and loose fitting clothes, and oh yes, my bling, I wasn't feeling like a fashion model. I was anticipating horrified looks, and sensitive people bursting into tears, and a million questions, and possibly setting off all of the alarms.

Only one of those things happened. I did get a few mildly horrified looks and people did stare/did their best not to stare, but otherwise it was barely different than the normal shopping outing. People did tend to give me a wider berth, which was very useful since my head is two times wider than usual, with spikes everywhere. Actually, that made it even more annoying when people didn't give me a wider berth, because I was sure I was going to put someone's eye out.

The funniest thing was the kids who saw me. They literally could not tear their eyes away. I smiled at them, and I think that made one cry. I might need to invest in some tinsel and fairy lights before I see my friends with young kids again.